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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in madamguillotine's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, January 10th, 2009
10:28 pm
Mash Game: Predict Your Future at eSPIN-the-Bottle
 
Behold... My Future
  I will marry Nathan.  
  After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in Chincoteague in our fabulous Shack.  
  We will have 8 kid(s) together.  
  Our family will zoom around in a blond flying carpet.
  I will spend my days as a hooker with a heart of gold, and live happily ever after.  
 
whats your future
 

(6 white boys |play that funky music)

Sunday, November 23rd, 2008
10:26 pm
OMG.

I had forgotten how funny this site is:

www.engrish.com

(4 white boys |play that funky music)

Tuesday, November 18th, 2008
9:41 pm
gURL.comI took the "What's So Funny?" quiz on gURL.com
My sense of humor is...
Dark

Who says Goths don't have a sense of humor? Goth or not, you certainly seem to appreciate the dark side of life, and it shows in your sense of humor. You might like dark (or black) comedy, because it pokes fun at our fears and anxieties. Read more...

What is your sense of humor?


(1 white boy |play that funky music)

Monday, October 13th, 2008
5:24 pm
That Last One Should be Bolded and In CAPSLOCK
...the others are hit and miss.


FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

(2 white boys |play that funky music)

Monday, July 28th, 2008
8:49 pm
Cannot...get... Crystal Castles' "Courtship Dating"...out...of ... head...

Egad. Catchy song.

(play that funky music)

Wednesday, April 11th, 2007
5:52 pm
This is a bad time of year for my umbrella to break.

(play that funky music)

Wednesday, March 21st, 2007
4:53 pm
Mr. LaChance, the father of a friend from high school (you remember him, Sarahamy) died this week. They were operating on his shoulder and he had a heart attack and died. I feel really sad about this - he was an extremely sweet, funny guy and young, too (only 49). Please pray for their family in dealing with their sudden loss.

Current Mood: sad

(1 white boy |play that funky music)

Thursday, February 8th, 2007
7:17 am
"When I was One-and-Twenty"


"When I was one-and-twenty
I heard a wise man say,
‘Give crowns and pounds and guineas
But not your heart away;

Give pearls away and rubies
But keep your fancy free.’
But I was one-and-twenty,
No use to talk to me."

- A. E. Houseman

So am I an impudent know-it-all now? I'm not sure. I only know that I am not as traumatized about this birthday as I was about turning nineteen or twenty, and that I am unlikely to give my heart away during this year of my life. Maybe it does not bother me as much because I am considering how lucky I am not to be George Harrison on this date in 1969, because that was when he got his tonsils out.

This day, my birthday, has dawned cold and clear at negative one degree. The sky glows amber and the snow shimmers and this is my first day of legal adult life.

Current Mood: awake

(2 white boys |play that funky music)

Friday, February 2nd, 2007
8:13 am
Dear Joan Didion: did I ever tell you that you're my hero?

(2 white boys |play that funky music)

Saturday, January 27th, 2007
12:35 pm
I have had an epiphany.

For some reason while typing up a ten-pager for Dr. Deardorff I was suddenly electrified out of my coma to the realization that the character Cera in "The Land Before Time" spelled her name that way because it was short for "triceratops." *slaps forhead* Of COURSE!

I don't know why I never thought of it before, and I don't know why I suddenly figured it out now, but there it is. An epiphany.

And now I just went on IMDB to make sure Cera really *did* spell her name the way I remembered, which she did, but to my horror I read this trivia tidbit: the girl who voiced Ducky was murdered by her father shortly before the movie was released. NOOO! I will never be able to watch the movie the same way again. Poor girl-who-voiced-Ducky. So HORRIBLE, so sad.

... and yet now I really want to watch the movie again. Because it was such an integral part of my childhood and it has been so long. But I'm afraid if I watch it now all I'll be able to think about is that poor kid who voiced Ducky.

(2 white boys |play that funky music)

Wednesday, January 17th, 2007
8:43 pm
"Marriage" by Gregory Corso

Should I get married? Should I be good?
Astound the girl next door with my velvet suit and faustus hood?
Don't take her to movies but to cemeteries
tell all about werewolf bathtubs and forked clarinets
then desire her and kiss her and all the preliminaries
and she going just so far and I understanding why
not getting angry saying You must feel! It's beautiful to feel!
Instead take her in my arms lean against an old crooked tombstone
and woo her the entire night the constellations in the sky-

When she introduces me to her parents
back straightened, hair finally combed, strangled by a tie,
should I sit with my knees together on their 3rd degree sofa
and not ask Where's the bathroom?
How else to feel other than I am,
often thinking Flash Gordon soap-
O how terrible it must be for a young man
seated before a family and the family thinking
We never saw him before! He wants our Mary Lou!
After tea and homemade cookies they ask What do you do for a living?

Should I tell them? Would they like me then?
Say All right get married, we're losing a daughter
but we're gaining a son-
And should I then ask Where's the bathroom?

O God, and the wedding! All her family and her friends
and only a handful of mine all scroungy and bearded
just wait to get at the drinks and food-
And the priest! he looking at me as if I masturbated
asking me Do you take this woman for your lawful wedded wife?
And I trembling what to say say Pie Glue!
I kiss the bride all those corny men slapping me on the back
She's all yours, boy! Ha-ha-ha!
And in their eyes you could see some obscene honeymoon going on-
Then all that absurd rice and clanky cans and shoes
Niagara Falls! Hordes of us! Husbands! Wives! Flowers! Chocolates!
All streaming into cozy hotels
All going to do the same thing tonight
The indifferent clerk he knowing what was going to happen
The lobby zombies they knowing what
The whistling elevator man he knowing
Everybody knowing! I'd almost be inclined not to do anything!
Stay up all night! Stare that hotel clerk in the eye!
Screaming: I deny honeymoon! I deny honeymoon!
running rampant into those almost climactic suites
yelling Radio belly! Cat shovel!
O I'd live in Niagara forever! in a dark cave beneath the Falls
I'd sit there the Mad Honeymooner
devising ways to break marriages, a scourge of bigamy
a saint of divorce-

But I should get married I should be good
How nice it'd be to come home to her
and sit by the fireplace and she in the kitchen
aproned young and lovely wanting my baby
and so happy about me she burns the roast beef
and comes crying to me and I get up from my big papa chair
saying Christmas teeth! Radiant brains! Apple deaf!
God what a husband I'd make! Yes, I should get married!
So much to do! Like sneaking into Mr Jones' house late at night
and cover his golf clubs with 1920 Norwegian books
Like hanging a picture of Rimbaud on the lawnmower
like pasting Tannu Tuva postage stamps all over the picket fence
like when Mrs Kindhead comes to collect for the Community Chest
grab her and tell her There are unfavorable omens in the sky!
And when the mayor comes to get my vote tell him
When are you going to stop people killing whales!
And when the milkman comes leave him a note in the bottle
Penguin dust, bring me penguin dust, I want penguin dust-

Yes if I should get married and it's Connecticut and snow
and she gives birth to a child and I am sleepless, worn,
up for nights, head bowed against a quiet window, the past behind me,
finding myself in the most common of situations a trembling man
knowledged with responsibility not twig-smear nor Roman coin soup-
O what would that be like!
Surely I'd give it for a nipple a rubber Tacitus
For a rattle a bag of broken Bach records
Tack Della Francesca all over its crib
Sew the Greek alphabet on its bib
And build for its playpen a roofless Parthenon

No, I doubt I'd be that kind of father
Not rural not snow no quiet window
but hot smelly tight New York City
seven flights up, roaches and rats in the walls
a fat Reichian wife screeching over potatoes Get a job!
And five nose running brats in love with Batman
And the neighbors all toothless and dry haired
like those hag masses of the 18th century
all wanting to come in and watch TV
The landlord wants his rent
Grocery store Blue Cross Gas & Electric Knights of Columbus
impossible to lie back and dream Telephone snow, ghost parking-
No! I should not get married! I should never get married!
But-imagine if I were married to a beautiful sophisticated woman
tall and pale wearing an elegant black dress and long black gloves
holding a cigarette holder in one hand and a highball in the other
and we lived high up in a penthouse with a huge window
from which we could see all of New York and even farther on clearer days
No, can't imagine myself married to that pleasant prison dream-

O but what about love? I forget love
not that I am incapable of love
It's just that I see love as odd as wearing shoes-
I never wanted to marry a girl who was like my mother
And Ingrid Bergman was always impossible
And there's maybe a girl now but she's already married
And I don't like men and-
But there's got to be somebody!
Because what if I'm 60 years old and not married,
all alone in a furnished room with pee stains on my underwear
and everybody else is married! All the universe married but me!

Ah, yet well I know that were a woman possible as I am possible
then marriage would be possible-
Like SHE in her lonely alien gaud waiting her Egyptian lover
so I wait - bereft of 2,000 years and the bath of life.

(3 white boys |play that funky music)

Tuesday, January 9th, 2007
6:33 pm
My two Deardorff classes went well today. They will be quite challenging, of course, but they would not be Deardorff classes if they were not. I just hope I'm still up to the challenge.

Anyway, my new roommate is proving to have excellent taste in music and entertainment. I am very heartened by this.

Hmm, I am feeling more and more positive about this semester as time goes on.

Current Mood: cheerful

(2 white boys |play that funky music)

Monday, January 8th, 2007
2:37 pm
Oh, the scurrying about, harbinger of a new semester's glittering dawn.

I successfully got a new ID made (with a picture thankfully superior to the very unfortunate freshman-era one) and after shuttling back and forth between the SSC and the keys office I finally snagged my room key as well. My roommate is off somewhere doing transfer-student-orientation-things, and I have been printing out syllabi and schedules, sending off e-mails, and trying to find a cheap plane ticket to New York.

And... getting strangely sleepy. *yawns* Perhaps it is the warmth of the indoors in comparison to the shockingly cold outdoor blusteryness. It is seriously 20 degrees colder here than it was back on the ridge. 'Tis a bit like jumping in the pool after lolling in a sauna. Walking out of the dorm this morning was quite a shock at first, considering it was in the seventies at home just a few days ago... which I was very much against, because it is NOT supposed to be in the 70's in January. El Nino stikes again! But apparently El Nino is having little effect here in the midwest. And... nippy as it is, I am very happy to embrace the winteryness of it all. Let it snow and all that.

Current Mood: sleepy

(12 white boys |play that funky music)

Sunday, January 7th, 2007
8:15 pm
I'm back! After four amazing months of soul-searching, working as a museum gallery attendent, hanging out with hippies, riding Silver, and playing with my dogs, I am back on the ol' college campus. I have to admit I was pretty depressed about coming back, although I was excited about my classes, finishing my degree, etc. But... still dreading the day I had to hang up my museum headset, hug Mark, Kirsten, and Fish good-bye, and... return to the Dark Place. I mean, (aside from health problems) I've been living in a fairy-land the past several months, with a boss named Fish, a security chief named Captain Cookie, and whole museum packed with an insanely funny staff that I got to goof around with all day. Truly good times.

However, my experience being back has been surprisingly positive so far. My new roommate Sara (a transfer student) is extremely cool. I think we are going to get along grandly. Aside from that, I haven't really left my room yet so I can't speak of Chuck's or classes yet, but I am trying my best to remember the hippie comrades I left behind and think of what they would do: make everything into a chance to jam. Rock on.

Current Mood: optimistic

(22 white boys |play that funky music)

Tuesday, October 31st, 2006
11:42 am
*mew*

(1 white boy |play that funky music)

Saturday, July 29th, 2006
12:20 pm
Well, don't it make my green eyes hazel?
Your Eyes Should Be Hazel

Your eyes reflect: Intellect and sensuality

What's hidden behind your eyes: Subtle manipulation

(4 white boys |play that funky music)

Tuesday, July 11th, 2006
9:43 pm
A very special HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY to Howie, Diamond, Pokey, Rose, Gnome, Velvet, Star, Chip, Griffin, Bowser, and our very own Cookie. Can't believe it was a full year ago I delivered the itty bitty sweetums.

Tomorrow after my class its off to New York for the wedding! It promises to be... interesting. Lets see if we can all get along on the long ride. After that it should all be uphill.

Current Mood: wedding!

(1 white boy |play that funky music)

Friday, June 16th, 2006
6:23 pm
OMG! OMG! The latest toothepastefordinner killed me dead. I know exactly what he is talking about, and the entire cartoon is impossibly amusing.

NO. NO SNAKES. Ok...

Hello, Katie Couric and friends.

Current Mood: amused

(2 white boys |play that funky music)

Tuesday, May 2nd, 2006
2:16 pm
And so, since I am on such a post-exam high, I guess I'll give you my top six list of favorite old movies (a la Sarahamy, except I'm only doing six because I should be studying). My only disclaimer is that this order is not set in stone. I waver as to which I like the best, and later I'll probably think of other films I would count as "top five" movies as well. Anyway, these movies are all wonderful in their own way:

6. "Citizen Kane." I really hate putting this one at number six because it is an amazing movie I think everyone should watch. Its just that its not one of those that you watch over and over again (although I *would* like to see it again). Its a movie you should watch at least once, and it definitely haunts your memory long after you've seen it. Orson Welles' performance as Kane from age 21 into his 70's is breathtaking. You are left with only one word on your lips: Rosebud.

5. "Vertigo." This is my favorite Alfred Hitchcock film (beating "The Lady Vanishes" by a nose). "Vertigo" is a classy, intriguing thriller set in San Fransisco and starring Jimmy Stewart and Kim Novak. What more do you need? If you are a red-blooded human being this movie will give you chills.

4. "The Philadelphia Story." I lack the words to properly descibe this movie. It is mostly a comedy, but there is a good bit of romance and drama thrown in there as well. The combination of Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn as a divorced couple, with Jimmy Stewart (who won an Oscar for his role in this film) thrown into the mix, is every bit as sumptuous as it sounds. This movie rocks my world.

3. "His Girl Friday." Can we say rapid-fire dialogue? Yes, yes we can. Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell are verbal tornadoes in this 1940 newspaper comedy classic. If you think Gilmore Girls' has fast talk'n dames you ain't heard nothin' till you here Hildy Johnson (Russell) tell Walter Burns (Grant) what is what. Legend has it that Grant and Russell practiced saying their lines at exactly the same time so that when they were actually performing the lines came out almost superhumanly close together. Aside from being gloriously snappy, the dialogue (and everything else about this movie) is also extremely clever. Go watch it. Right now.

2. "Its a Wonderful Life." Yeah, I know this is one of those movies everyone is sick to death of because they watch it every Christmas, but I never saw it until last November, so it is a new and glorious thing to me. The first time I watched this movie I cried like a baby. I think its message that no man who has friends is a failure, of how our lives don't usually turn out the way we think they will, and how our lives impact others is, well, just beautiful and timeless. I love everything about this movie. Every moment is gold.

1. "Casablanca." "If you don't get on that plane you'll regret it - maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life." Oh, Rick. You keep us coming back to your cafe again and again. I can't tear my eyes away from Humphrey Bogart in this film. That world-worn face of his is a fascinating story in and of itself. And those eyes! Don't even get me started. And as wonderful as Bogart is in this classic film he is just one small part of the wonderfulness. The plot, dialogue, supporting actors (including the luminous Ingrid Bergman and fragile, twitchy Peter Lorre), and setting (c'mon - MOROCCO!) are all impeccable. I don't know how it is possible to make a film this good, but apparently it is, and we are eternally grateful.


There are many other old films I like, but that'll have to wait till another post. Until then, if you've never seen one of these: now is the time.

(5 white boys |play that funky music)

Sunday, April 30th, 2006
2:43 pm
Who should I run into in Chuck's after church today but Justin?

!!!!!!


We hung out for a while and chatted about the exploding red cream soda of 2005 and all the good times that went along with it.


The sky is so blue
The grass is so green
I like Cedarville

Current Mood: surprised

(11 white boys |play that funky music)

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